I wrote recently about stress. The years around menopause can be a very busy time for women. There can be demands from your family, from older parents and at work. One cause of stress is believing that you don’t have any control over what is happening to you, that there aren’t any options. 
There are always options. You just have to get good and recognising them. A useful model to help with this is the 4 As approach. In any situation you can look for opportunities to:
- Avoid the people or situations that stress you. If you know that someone always winds you up, can you keep out of their way? Remember you can’t like everyone and not everyone can like you. If there are certain situations that stress you what can you do to avoid those situations? This is more difficult with family members but it is possible to limit your exposure to unhelpful people.
- Alter the situation so that it is more acceptable. Could you get somebody else to help you in that situation? Could someone else do the thing that stresses you? Could you change the venue or context so that it is less stressful? I outsource my technical IT work because it makes my blood boil!
- Adapt by taking a more positive approach, adjusting your standards, or looking at the ‘big picture’. What could you learn from that person or situation? Are you trying to be inappropriately perfect? Are you taking on responsibility that isn’t yours?
- Accept and don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Learn to forgive. You might not like or agree with the situation but if you can’t do any of the three options above, acceptance is the best option. You may be surprised how relaxing it is to stop struggling and accept what is happening.
Evaluate each option and decide on the best one for you.
If you use this process it will increase your emotional resilience, your ability to bounce back from difficult situations.
